Monday, July 6, 2009

Thinking I would do some spring cleaning on my downstairs parts, in hopes of getting lucky, I thought it was time to wax. I use sugar wax because it washes off easily in the shower and allows you to get as messy without consequence. After getting down to business and making quite a mess I decide to get up and head to the shower. As soon as I stand up I realize that my ass cheeks are waxed shut and I can barely walk. I waddle to the bathroom and jump in the shower to separate them and get myself cleaned off. After 5 minutes of scalding myself under the shower I am making no progress and my poor rear is still cemented shut. I waddle out of the shower and check the instructions on the wax... wrong wax, insoluble in water. What are my options? According to the packaging only mineral oil and acetone work. Not having the former and dreading the latter I ransack my apartment looking for anything to get myself unstuck..... in the end I had to have a sexy 15 minute shower rubdown with cooking oil and needless to say, that was all the action my neatly waxed cookie got that week.


WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?

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